Psalm 80:1–7, 17–19 • Isaiah 7:10–16 • Romans 1:1–7 • Matthew 1:18–25

Today is Advent 4. As we continue through this season of waiting for the coming of the Lord, we realize everything God does is done in love — including the “three comings” of Jesus. These include his arrival in history as the babe born of the virgin Mary, his glorious return at the end of the age, and his intermediate entrance into and presence in our personal lives. Advent includes looking back and looking forward, looking in wonder at the promises of God from beginning to end. The whole of the Old Testament is the text for Advent.

Today we celebrate Advent 4, with the theme of love. God is love, which means the Father is love, the Son is love, and the Holy Spirit is love. And this isn’t describing an emotion they have toward us; it describes who and what God is. God is love. Everything God does is defined by who and what he is — love. So, as we finish up this season of Advent, we realize the prophecies, the fulfillment of the prophesies, the story of Israel, God’s faithfulness, the birth, life, death, resurrection, ascension, and return of Jesus is all because of, and based on, love — God’s love for us, collectively and individually. God’s promise from the beginning was that he would always love us. Paul expounds on this in Romans 8: Nothing can separate us from the love the Father, Son, and Spirit pour out on us.

It is because of his love for us that we celebrate the Incarnation, especially at Christmas. On this last day of Advent, think of the season as a season pointing to the One the season is all about. Jesus came as a babe in a manger, he came to and in us through the Holy Spirit, and he will come again to fully establish a glorious kingdom — a kingdom we have already been participating in with him. He truly is the reason for the season. He is, and always will be, the center of the center of every good thing.

We recommend you begin your worship service with a focus on Advent, which might include focusing on the theme of love, reading Scripture, lighting the fourth Advent candle, and offering a prayer of gratitude for the love we have from Father, Son and Spirit.

This week’s sermon theme is Immanuel is coming to restore and to save. In our call to worship psalm, David asks God to restore us “so that we might be saved.” The prophet Isaiah tells Israel that “the Lord himself will give you a sign. Look, the young woman is with child and shall bear a son and shall name him Immanuel (Isa. 7:14 NRSVUE).” Paul reminds believers in Rome that Jesus is the One who descended from David; he is the Immanuel who restores and who saves. The Gospel passage in Matthew is about God’s messenger telling Joseph to not despair, the child in her is from God; he is the One prophesied to come.

God Is with Us

Matthew 1:18–25 NRSVUE

Have you ever had a vision die? Had a hope dashed? Had a plan gone to ruin? Most of us have. I often think about how the disciples felt at the Garden of Gethsemane when Jesus was arrested and marched to the house of Caiaphas, the High Priest. And then, to watch him be crucified the next day, all their plans gone.

Sometimes our dreams fail. Perhaps you did not get the job you really needed. Perhaps a significant relationship ended. We’ve all faced those times when things didn’t go as planned — at least by our plans.

(This is a good time to share an anecdotal illustration from your own experience.)

We don’t know the details of Joseph and Mary’s betrothal, but we do know there was a difference between betrothal and engagement. In ancient Jewish culture, there were two steps to marriage, the first being the betrothal, called erusin, where the couple formally committed to marriage. This was often the result of a contract between the parents, or an agreement between the parents of the bride and her betrothed. Sometimes the couple barely knew each other. Regardless, during this time, they were legally considered married, they were referred to as “husband” or “wife,” and they could only end their marriage through death or divorce.

They were not, however, legally able to consummate their marriage until after the second step of the marriage process, called nissuin. The interval between these two events could last as long as a year. During betrothal, the bride would prepare for the ceremony while the groom was expected to prepare the home, he would bring his wife into. The nissuin was the formal home-taking ceremony.

You might see some parallels with these two events with the words Jesus said in John 14, when he told his disciples he was going to prepare a place for them, and he would return to take them where he was.

So, while we don’t know all the details, knowing the culture, we can assume Mary was preparing for the wedding ceremony, and Joseph was preparing his home to start a new life with his bride.

In the middle of this, Gabriel, the angel of the Lord, visits Mary and tells her she will be with child from the Holy Spirit and that this child will be called Immanuel.

So, let’s read the passage for today. (Read, or have someone read, Matthew 1:18–25 NRSVUE.)

We don’t know a lot about Joseph except that Matthew referred to him as “a righteous man.” So, we know he was a faithful Jew, doing his best to follow the law, trying to do what was “right.” We also know from this passage that Joseph was merciful and gracious.

Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to divorce her quietly. Matthew 1:19 NRSVUE

Let’s not just gloss over this. Here is a man who was considered righteous — in other words, one who followed the law. From his perspective, Mary had not only broken the marriage covenant, a personal disgrace for both of them, but he had to assume she had also committed fornication with someone else. We can only guess that Mary tried to explain things to Joseph, and it may be that he sincerely wanted to believe her, but we must also admit many wouldn’t believe her story.

Joseph had every right to publicly disgrace Mary and thus save face to his family and friends. But he chose to show mercy. He was going to quietly divorce her.

Let’s read the first two verses of this passage again:

This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. Matthew 1:18–19 NIV

Matthew doesn’t spend a lot of time talking about Mary’s encounter with the angel Gabriel. He simply mentions she was betrothed but found herself to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Someone just reading Matthew’s account might ask a lot of questions here, but in the previous 17 verses, Matthew focuses on Joseph’s genealogy and shows that his line went all the way back to Abraham. He makes the point that there were three sets of 14 generations: from Abraham to David, David to the exile to Babylon, and the exile to the birth of Jesus. Matthew shows that Jesus is from the line of David just as the prophecies foretold, and he is sharing Joseph’s role in the story.

Now, before we go further, Joseph’s response brings a lesson for all of us. How many times have we been hurt by another person and we want to bring them to public disgrace; we want to see them humbled? And how often have we believed that this will make us feel better or look better to others?

Unfortunately, this is common among believers. Too often we have an “us” and “them” outlook on the world. Believers vs. unbelievers. Righteous vs. sinners. Saved vs. unsaved. And we see this even in the Christian community as we compare ourselves. “Look what they believe! Can you believe their position on (name the topic)?” We have all been on both sides of horrible comparisons.

What if we treat all with mercy? What if one of the reasons for the Incarnation was to show us that we are not better than others, but there is one who is better than all, and he came for all. He came to show us there is no “us” and “them.” He came to show that all are included in the “us.”

Let’s continue:

But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” Matthew 1:20–21 NRSVUE

Try to put yourself in Joseph’s sandals. You’ve been looking forward to bringing Mary into your home and starting a life together. You’ve been working on your home, and you know she has been preparing for the wedding. Excitement is building, but then she comes to you and tells you the last thing you ever expected to hear from her. “I’m expecting a child. And it’s not what you think — this child is from God.”

Imagine the range of emotions he might have had — anger, frustration, disbelief, and loss. As a law-follower, you know what is expected, what you have every right to do under the law, but it seems brutal and unforgiving. As a righteous man you seek God, asking him what you should do. You know the law, but you also know your betrothed and her family.

Then in the middle of the night you have a dream — a dream unlike any dream you’ve ever had previously. In this dream, an angel of the Lord appears and tells you what is unbelievable — that Mary was telling the truth, and the child in her is from the Holy Spirit.

This is difficult to accept, but it’s also difficult to accept that an angel is talking to you and sharing details you cannot ignore. Not only is Mary pregnant by the Holy Spirit, but you are to take Mary as your wife, and you are given the name of the child.

Then the angel shares a statement that boggles the mind. “This child will save his people from their sins.”

“His people?” This is a child. A child has no people, unless perhaps you include mom and dad. Who are his people? What is this angel talking about? And then the angel shares a prophecy quite familiar to Joseph from his Jewish upbringing and education.

All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet: “Look, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel,” which means, “God is with us.” Matthew 1:22–23 NRSVUE

Joseph went to bed planning to divorce Mary quietly, and he wakes up willing to take on the role of a parent for this child. But it’s more than that. It seems Joseph also took on the shame of having marital relations outside of the marriage covenant. Remember, the Gospel stories were written many years later. Most would assume Joseph and Mary had been unfaithful to the law during the period of betrothal. It’s not like it was the first time it happened in Jewish circles, but Joseph was considered a righteous man. Was his reputation diminished?

You can’t help but wonder how many times the Holy Spirit prompts us to show more mercy than we do. How many times does the Holy Spirit prompt us to remember that the person we want to publicly disgrace is a beloved child of God? How many times has the Holy Spirit prompted us to take the hit in order to save the reputation of another? How many times have we listened? How many times have we responded accordingly? Perhaps one of the reasons the story of Joseph is in the Bible is for us to look at things a bit differently, from a different perspective, from a godly point of view — putting the other person’s reputation above our own.

When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife but had no marital relations with her until she had given birth to a son, and he named him Jesus. Matthew 1:24–25 NRSVUE

Joseph did what the Lord commanded because he had learned that the Lord is trustworthy! The will of the Father is always good for us. God can be trusted. May we all come to believe that God is good and trustworthy.

The angel instructed Joseph and Mary to name the child Immanuel — God with us. This is love that God sent his only Son to you and me. Love became human. Think about that this week as we look forward to Christmas.

As we end this season of Advent, we enter the season of the Incarnation, celebrating Immanuel. We celebrate Jesus’ three comings: his arrival in history as the babe born of the virgin Mary, his glorious return at the end of the age, and his intermediate entrance into and presence in our personal lives.

This week as we head toward Christmas, celebrating the birth of Jesus, let’s ask God to empower us to:

• Show mercy, even when we believe we are in the right.
• Listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and show love toward others.
• Follow the new commandment Jesus gave: to love others as he loves us.
• And put God’s will above our own — no matter the personal cost.

May we enjoy the Christmas season knowing we are loved more than we could ever imagine.

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Small Group Discussion Questions