The Hardest Part of Leadership

Bringing challenge is less about confrontation and more about love and the 4 Es.

I often hear pastors and leaders share their struggle to bring up tough topics with their leadership teams. “I struggle with confrontation.” “If I bring this up, I’m afraid she will leave.” “He already has enough on his plate; I hate to bring this challenge.” “I’m more concerned about my relationship with her, than about what she said during Bible Study.” “I believe showing grace is more important than challenging his overdue reports.”

Let me be transparent. Like most of you, I often struggle with bringing challenge because of my own self-preservation. I don’t want to be considered a tough guy; I want to be known as a person of grace; I want people to like me. It’s easy to talk about high support, high challenge, and grace always, but most of us lean more toward the high support and grace always. We convince ourselves this is the best course of action; while the truth is, we are missing out on an opportunity to express the 4 Es, and to love others as Jesus loves us.

I have come to ask myself, “Do I love him/her enough to bring a challenge?” I’ve engaged, I’ve empowered, I’ve equipped, and now I’d rather encourage than challenge. But wait a minute. Have I really equipped and empowered someone if I’m unwilling to bring a challenge that will make them a better leader?

I submit that high support and grace always must include bringing high challenge, and I submit that Jesus set the example for us. He challenged his mother, Martha, and the disciples to think differently, to act differently, to have different expectations, and ultimately, to join him in his mission and ministry. He did this to prepare them for what was to come, knowing they would face persecution, and many would be martyred. The following are a few examples. Notice the challenge, and ask yourself, what might have come from those challenges?

Mary: When Mary came to her son and said, they have no more wine, his response is a gentle challenge. What concern is this to you or me? My hour has not yet come (John 2:4). This challenge was to remind his mother whose authority he was under.
The disciples and children: When people started bringing their children to Jesus, the disciples rebuked the parents. Jesus challenged their hearts and motivation, telling them they needed a childlike heart to enter the kingdom of God (Mark 10:15 NRSV). Luke tells us about a time the disciples were arguing about who was greatest. Jesus said that welcoming a child was welcoming him, and then he told them the least among them would be the greatest (Luke 9:46-48).
James and John: They asked that Jesus promise to sit them at his right and left hand when they were all in glory. He asked them if they could drink the cup he drinks or be baptized with his baptism (Mark 10:38). He challenged them another time when they asked him if they could command fire to come down from heaven and consume a Samaritan village (Luke 9:52-55). This time his challenge came as a rebuke.
Disciples on Sea of Galilee: Jesus was asleep on the boat when a storm came, and they were afraid they would perish. He challenged them to have more faith – to understand who he is (Matthew 8:23-27).
Martha: When Martha complained that Mary wasn’t helping her, he challenged her to be more like Mary and learn from him (Luke 10:38-42).
The eleven: After his resurrection he appeared to the eleven and challenged them about their lack of faith and disbelief. He told them to get up and go do what they were commissioned to do (Mark 16:14-18).
Peter: When Jesus told his disciple about his upcoming death, and Peter started to rebuke him, Jesus reminded Peter that his mind was in the wrong place (Mark 8:31-33).

Jesus said many hard sayings that come across as uncomfortable challenges. Some of the challenges come out as a correction or a rebuke. But his motivation was always to help his followers grow and be the leaders he knew them to be. In particular, he was preparing the disciples for the ministry and mission they would face. It’s true that Jesus accepts and loves us just the way we are, but it’s also true that he loves us too much to leave us the way we are. I submit that loving others as Jesus loves us will give us many opportunities to bring high support and high challenge, and to always do so in grace.

Questions for reflection:

Where do you see a need for high challenge in the 4 Es?
- With engaging leaders?
- With empowering leaders?
- With equipping leaders?
- With encouraging leaders?
What is keeping you from bringing high challenge to one of your team members?
What is keeping you from bringing high challenge to yourself?

May we start to see that loving others as Jesus loves us means being willing to bring high challenge so that others have opportunity to grow in their relationship with God and with others.

Rick Shallenberger
Editor

PS: From Greg Williams. In the support/challenge matrix, it is high challenge that moves toward the quadrant of liberation. So, it can feel like domination and lacking grace. However, I would argue that high challenge is a loftier expression of grace. Instead of leaving a person in a state of misunderstanding or worse, not operating in the flow of God’s will and mission, it is a graceful act to speak the truth to them and encourage them to change their thinking and actions. Always speak the truth out of the posture of love – the apostle Paul recommends it!

PPS: Check out a new podcast I am cohosting with Josh McDonald, called Geocaching Scripture: Tiny Truths in the Big Truth. You can find it on Spotify.

Helping Visitors Feel Welcome

Can first time visitors figure out our customs and liturgy?

By Tim Sitterley, Regional Director US West

I will never forget my first visit to a Catholic mass. Having grown up in WCG/GCI, I had no idea what to expect. What was up with people dipping their fingers in a water basin upon entering? The first time there was a call and response in the liturgy, and everyone responded loudly with the Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy), I almost jumped out of my skin. But after a couple of responses, I was ready, only to find out as I shouted “Kyrie Eleison,” that the response had now changed to Christe Eleison (Christ have mercy). People would kneel, and as I was kneeling, they stood back up. I was smart enough to stay in my seat during the Eucharist, and I slipped quietly out the back door while the ushers were thrusting an offering basket on a pole in front of each parishioner. I have no idea what happened after that.

Most of our worship services are not nearly as intricate and potentially confusing as a traditional Catholic mass. But that doesn’t mean that parts of our liturgy can’t be just as frustrating and scary to a first-time visitor, particularly if they don’t have much of a church background. Even our vocabulary can be intimidating. (“Washed in the blood” sounds like something from the TV show “Criminal Minds.”)

As one who visits congregations as part of my job, I’ve seen and experienced many things that would have me heading to the back door if I were new to the faith and looking for a church. Here are just a few examples … and I promise to not mention congregations by name.

I arrived at one congregation 20 minutes early and could not find a single person in the sanctuary. It was evident I was in the right place, but where were the people? It turns out that on certain days of the month they gather in another part of the rented church campus for breakfast. I wandered around until I heard voices, but a visitor would have been back in their car and on their way long before the members made their pilgrimage back to the sanctuary.

Times of praise and prayer can also be times of confusion and stress to visitors. In one congregation we spent 43 minutes talking about everyone’s problems (I’m not exaggerating). Imagine how that comes across to a first-time visitor when more time is spent sharing our problems than focusing on the solution – Jesus.

One congregation has everyone stand up for the reading of scripture. Do you sit or stand during the offering? (Is there consideration for those who are in pain when they stand?) Is the benediction the final word of the service, or is there something afterward? Is one of those people speaking to us the pastor? These are all relatively small issues for a visitor, but they do add up quickly. The last thing a visitor wants is to be spotlighted by their own actions (and they certainly shouldn’t be spotlighted from the stage).

And the biggest and most confusing piece of liturgy a first-time visitor will encounter in our congregational worship service is communion. I’ve seen the invitation to the Lord’s table conducted in so many ways that, even though this is the world I work in, I’m sometimes confused as to what to expect. Are the elements passed? Do I take them immediately, or do I wait for further instructions? Do we get up and go somewhere to get the elements? Who is invited to take the elements? And don’t get me started on proper traditions for intinction (dipping the bread into the communal cup), if that is your style.

I attended a service where the communion elements are available each week on a table at the side of the sanctuary, but the congregation only celebrates communion collectively once a month. The other weeks members are free to get up at any time during the service to privately take the elements if they so choose. Most people get up during the last song. Unfortunately for a first-time couple, when several in their row got up (with no announcement or instructions from the stage) and went to the table, the couple assumed this is what everyone did. They retrieved the bread and wine and waited for instructions for when to partake – instructions that never came, leaving them to quickly take the elements after the benediction while people around them introduced themselves.

At the end of the day, there is a simple solution to avoid first-time confusion, embarrassment, and visitors slipping quietly out the door. Three easy steps: communication, communication, and communication. First, always plan for visitors, and explain to the members that we are always planning for visitors.

Are the elements of your weekly worship liturgy outlined in your handout bulletin?

Speaker and his/her role. (Elder, youth pastor, assistant pastor, etc.)
Order of services.
Written instructions for the offering and communion.
Location of restrooms and fellowship hall.

If you really want to get a feel for how visitor-friendly your worship customs and liturgy are, you can always do what a pastor friend of mine did. He asked a neighbor, who didn’t do church at all, if he and his wife would attend one of their services and give him some feedback. He was amazed (and somewhat saddened) by the observations given to him. Some radical changes were made in the weekly service, from training for the greeters to a list of “reminders” of things to clarify that were laminated and attached to the lectern.

Shortly before COVID I was invited to attend a congregation outside my region, and the experience opened my eyes to the possibilities. Few people there beyond the pastor knew me, so for all practical purposes I was a first-time visitor. I was greeted in the parking lot by a couple of teens. They introduced me by name to a greeter at the door who walked with me into the sanctuary. I was introduced by name to the ladies at the coffee table and loaded up with a cup of fresh coffee and a doughnut. After a quick tour of the building, I was handed a bulletin that answered almost any question a visitor could ask. By the time the pastor saw me and made it clear I was not a potential new member, I already felt totally at home in that service.

A healthy church is intentional in communicating to visitors. The sooner we can impart the “what,” the sooner our visitors can focus on the “why” and the “who.” May our customs and liturgy never get in the way of the “who.”

The Shepherding Side of Pastoring

Participating with Jesus in shepherding his flock is one of my greatest blessings.

By Marty Davey, Pastor, GCI Jacksonville

I was recently reflecting on Jesus being our good shepherd and was reminded of our role as “under-shepherds” participating with Christ as ministry leaders and pastors. Paul refers to the call to pastor as grace that has been given (Ephesians 4:7-11). It is a spiritual and supernatural grace, which means gift, given to specific believers to help the whole Body of Christ.

The word “pastors” here in Ephesians 4 is the Greek word “poimenas,” which means shepherd. A shepherd is one who leads, feeds, and protects the flock. This is the same Greek word that Jesus used in John 21 the second time he asked Peter if he loved him and added, “tend my sheep” or “take care of my sheep.” Peter, and all subsequent pastors, are called to participate with Jesus in shepherding his beloved flock. Peter also uses this terminology when giving instruction to elders (1 Peter 5:2).

What does Jesus, as well as Peter, have in mind when they exhort ministers to be shepherds? A good place to look is John 10 where Jesus describes what he, as the good shepherd, will do. Then he draws contrasts between himself and bad shepherds. Jesus describes himself as the one who knows and calls the sheep by name, who leads them out to good pasture and goes ahead of them. He says he gives them life to the full, saves them, and won’t leave them when danger comes, but would instead lay down his own life for them.

The bad shepherd, so to speak, is there for himself, not showing genuine care for the sheep, and is unwilling to sacrifice for them. One is reminded of the selfish and failing shepherds of Israel that God inspired Ezekiel to call out in chapter 34 of his prophecy. His criticisms include that they “only take care of yourselves,” and “you do not take care of the flock. You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. So they were scattered …” (Ezekiel 34:3-5 NIV). By noting what the selfish shepherds didn’t do, we see what the Lord expects good shepherds, pastors shepherding under Jesus, to do: strengthen the weak, heal and bind up the hurting, seek the lost and straying, and bring them back. This is what healthy pastors do.

As we in GCI endeavor to upgrade and improve our management-based leadership skills in Team Based – Pastor Led leadership, we can look at the 4 Es as mechanics (Engage, Equip, Empower, Encourage), but they also cover the fundamental calling of pastors to be shepherds.

I try to keep this in my own mind as a pastor by using the acronym “LESS” – which also reminds me that pastoring requires less self-serving and more self-denial, and less reliance upon physical methods and mechanics and more reliance upon spiritual methods and qualities. The shepherding aspects of pastoring are, for me, summed up in these four aspects as represented by the letters L, E, S, S.

L — Love the flock, including both those in the flock and those not yet in. (Engage)

E — Exhort the flock through teaching to nourish the flock with the truth of Jesus and God’s will. (Equip and Empower)

S — Shepherd the flock – tend, care for, bind up, visit, seek out, provide healing comfort. (Encourage)

S — Serve the flock, as Jesus did, according to his teaching that those who are truly great leaders will be serving. (All 4 Es)

Ephesians 4:11 speaks of pastors doing “works of service,” which is what “ministry” means. Many commentaries point out that the grammar of the Greek in these verses more naturally connects this phrase to the actions and expectations of the pastors. Yes, we want our ministry leaders to also Engage, Equip, Empower, and Encourage, but we must never forget that the responsibility to lead by example is on pastors. We are to lead with a genuine loving, caring, and serving attitude of one willing to wash the feet of others, as did our Lord.

For me, I consider my calling to be a pastor as one of my greatest blessings. Thank you, Jesus, for this wonderful grace, this gift, to serve your flock!

Process of Development: Encourage

Encouragement includes both call up and affirm.

By Cara Garrity, Development Coordinator

The fourth E of the 4 Es in our Process of Development is Encourage. Have you ever had an experience when someone tried to encourage you, but it was not encouraging at all? Maybe they provided impersonal words that felt like they weren’t really for you. Or you could tell they were trying to provide encouragement because they felt obligated, not because they meant it. What does it mean to really encourage?

To encourage in GCI ministry is both to call up and affirm. Encouragement provides support, confidence, or hope for another. It can include providing fuel for another to keep going or the challenge needed to start going. Encouragement is more than a generic, half-hearted “good job, kid.” It is not empty platitudes. It is personal, it is specific, it is purposeful. In other words, it is intentional.

When we think about encouragement, I suspect that the practices that affirm come to mind first. These practices include: cheering someone on, giving them positive feedback on their work, sharing prayer, or affirming their strengths and achievements. I would also bet that most of us find this part of encouragement easier.

Another important piece of encouragement is to call up. This is the side of encouragement that can provide fuel to keep going or the challenge needed to grow in a new way. These practices include: providing constructive feedback, challenging someone to take the next step in their ministry development, or drawing out someone’s fuller potential. Note that the intent, posture, and even delivery of this form of encouragement affects the impact. It can determine whether a person feels “called up” or “called out.” I think we can all agree that being “called out” is not an encouraging feeling.

Why is it important to include both call up and affirm in our encouragement? As we partner with one another in our ministry development, speaking words of life and affirming God’s good purposes for one another is an essential way to ground our development in who we are in Christ. Calling up acknowledges that we serve a God who is at work in our midst, who continues to transform us and draw us into participation in his ministry.

Encouragement that only affirms risks stagnation and complacency. Encouragement that only calls up risks self-reliance and striving. Encouragement that holds both calling up and affirmation together holds the potential to provide support, confidence, hope, fuel, spark, challenge, and more as we grow as a priesthood of all believers with one another.

Some questions to consider:

How do you feel about these two pieces of encouragement?
How can you encourage your team this month?
What might you have to change to begin encouraging your ministry team more consistently and specifically?

Church Hack: We Believe Part 2

An essential part of a Healthy Church is the Faith Avenue. The Faith Avenue creates spaces outside of the Sunday gathering where discipleship can occur. Through the study of God’s word, along with communion with God and one another, God is conforming us to Jesus’ image through a life of faith and obedience.

We are excited to release the second workbook in the We Believe series. The We Believe curriculum is a resource formatted to explore our core beliefs through individual study and communal discussion. We Believe is grounded in Scripture and expressive of GCI’s statement of beliefs and Incarnational Trinitarian Theology. For more info read this month’s church hack, linked below:

2023-CH7-WeBelieve2.pdf (gci.org)
#gcichurchhacks

Being a Neighbor

What if Jesus is intentional when he puts us in the path of another?

By Bill Hall, National Director, Canada

It all started when my son, Liam, was signing up for Beavers (the program preceding Cub Scouts). We’d only been in our community a few weeks when we decided to get Liam involved in the scouting movement, as his older sister had been involved with Girl Guides since she was five.

While standing in line to fill out the application, Joan, the Beaver leader, asked, “Would you like to help as a leader?” I said I was willing to give it a go, and the rest, as they say, is history. Over the past 25 years we have developed a relationship with Joan’s family. Her husband, Jeff, was a Cub Scout leader, and I transitioned to serving that age group when my son moved up the ranks of the Scout movement.

We’ve seen their children grow up at the same pace as our two children and have spent many a New Year’s Eve at Joan and Jeff’s country home. They even came to our church for one of our harvest supper outreach events.

But when it comes to an invitation to church, Joan told me early on that she is “spiritual” but not a Christian.

But that is not the point of my story.

I’m a firm believer that Jesus puts us into the paths of people for a reason. And you never know what that means.

I find it interesting that when Jesus sends out the 72 to be his messengers about the presence of the Kingdom of God, he makes this statement: “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves” (Luke 10: 2-3 NIV).

I’ve often prayed that God would provide workers for the harvest, without realizing he was talking to me. We are the ones who are to love our neighbor as Jesus has loved us and loves them (Luke 10:27).

Back to Joan and Jeff. One day I received a panicked phone call from Joan mentioning that Jeff was in a crisis, and she didn’t know how to help him. She asked if I could come over to their house. I dropped everything and rushed over.

When I sat down with Jeff, he told me he had just returned from the South Pacific after spending two weeks there. He related how that past summer he had met a foreign doctor who was on a contract in the community and was an ardent sailor. Jeff invited him to join his local sailing club and their relationship grew over the summer. When it was time for the doctor to go back to the South Pacific, he invited Jeff to visit and go sailing on his sailboat.

Jeff decided to take him up on the invitation and visited him in January during the worst of our Canadian winter. His visit was exciting, filled with days on the doctor’s sailboat and experiencing village life on the island where the doctor lived. He stayed at his friend’s home and got to know the doctor’s wife.

One day, the doctor suggested they go snorkeling in the coral lagoon that surrounded the island. So they traveled down to the beach and snorkeled, while the doctor’s wife sat on the beach reading her book.

Snorkeling was a wonderful experience in the warm and calm clear waters of the lagoon. Then the doctor asked if Jeff was up for a little excitement. He urged Jeff to join him in swimming outside of the coral reef. But as soon as they were out in the open waters of the Pacific, they hit strong currents that flowed past the protective coral reef. Jeff said it took all his ability to keep afloat and not to be overcome with panic.

Jeff was about to suggest they return to the safety of the lagoon when the doctor disappeared. Jeff tried to find him, but feared for his own life and barely made it back to the lagoon.

Once he made it to the beach, he told the doctor’s wife what had happened, and she raised the alarm with the local authorities. Her friends arrived and started to scour the beach of the lagoon, and the US Coast Guard sent a rescue ship and helicopter to search the open ocean. (The search went on for a couple of days, but his friend’s body was never found).

For the next several days, while waiting for his scheduled flight to return home, Jeff tried to offer his support to the grieving widow, as she and her friends dealt with her husband’s death. But he felt so inadequate.

This is the background to what I faced that day. Jeff was clearly in crisis as he relived the trauma of those previous weeks.

What did I do? Mostly I listened and along the way I acknowledged his trauma and offered words of encouragement. The best love I could give to my neighbor was to simply be there with him and listen.

Looking back at that conversation, I can’t help but be honored that our relationship was such that he allowed me into his personal space in that moment of time. That day I was able to show love for my neighbor in a way I would never have imagined. This is just one example of how God invites us to join him in sharing his love and life with others. I’m sure you have a similar story.

Jesus and TikTok

In 1992, Andrew Grove, then CEO of the tech giant Intel, was quoted by The New York Times as saying that the idea of a “wireless personal communicator” in every pocket was “a pipe dream driven by greed.” As I write this article, I have a “wireless personal communicator” in my pocket, and you may be using yours to read this article. If not, you likely have one nearby. Andrew Grove was proven wrong. Ironically, insiders in the technology sector, like PCWorld, predict that your next cell phone will likely be powered by an Intel chip. It is safe to say that Intel now believes in the pipe dream.

The head of one of the biggest technology companies in the world could not see the potential of cell phones – devices that are now a part of ordinary life for most of the world. This is just one example of the human proclivity to reject new technologies, even when those technologies could improve our lives. Today, many in the church have not bought into TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and other social media platforms despite their overwhelming popularity among younger generations. Christian adults that engage with social media are often primarily concerned about how to keep young people safe while online. Yes, there are elements of social media that should cause us concern, and we need to help our young people make wise decisions while in cyberspace. However, might we be missing the bigger picture? Perhaps social media can be a valuable resource in sharing the love of Christ and the good news of his kingdom.

Before we go any further, I am not advocating for Christian adults to take to TikTok with evangelism pitches and moral messages for young people. That would likely only result in young people migrating in droves to another platform. Instead, what if we equipped our young people to understand mission and how to genuinely share their faith through relationship? Most young people are attracted to social media because they are looking to connect with others. Perhaps we can work with the younger generations and support them in talking about Jesus in their own language (technology is a language) as the Holy Spirit creates opportunities. This starts with being genuinely curious about how and why your young people use social media. Then, after spending some time getting to understand mission (I would suggest reading Surprise the World by Michael Frost or Flesh by Hugh Halter), brainstorm with them the best ways to engage their neighbors on social media. Of course, you should discuss how to be wise and safe online, but do so while putting more of an emphasis on being a blessing to those in need of light and hope.

I believe Paul would be on board with this approach. He wrote:

Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. (1 Corinthians 9:19-23 NIV)

Like Paul, let us use every tool we can to share the good news about Jesus Christ. Social media can be used to harm others, but it can also be used to spread life. Jesus is at work all around us. I have to believe that he is at work on social media too. Given the influence of social media, your young people may turn out to be the most effective evangelists in your congregation!

Dishon Mills, Generations Ministry Coordinator

Gospel Reverb – The Art of Neighboring w/ Geordie Ziegler

Rhythms of Leadership Development w/ Mako Nagasawa

Sermon for September 3, 2023 – Proper 17

Psalm 105:1-6, 23-26, 45c • Exodus 3:1-15 • Romans 12:9-21 • Matthew 16:21-28

This week’s theme is God’s concern and care for us. In our call to worship Psalm, the psalmist reminds us to remember the wonders that God has performed on our behalf. In the book of Exodus, God speaks to Moses, letting him know that he has heard the cries of his people and will act on their behalf. In the gospels, Matthew records Jesus telling Peter that the concerns of God are far above Peter’s own concerns, and in Romans, Paul admonishes the Roman church to be concerned for one another after the pattern of Christ’s concern for us.

Overcoming Evil With Good

Romans 12:9-21 (NIV)

Over the past 15 years, we have witnessed a significant rise in the amount of superhero movies that have been released. These often feature some of the most well-known actors in the world. Superhero movies are also among the highest grossing of any genre. In 2019 alone, these movies brought in more than three billion dollars.

A common thread found in these movies is that the superhero will encounter obstacles, dangers, and setbacks. And no superhero movie is complete without an opposing force. A force of evil that must be overcome with good. Sounds a lot like church, doesn’t it? What do we do when the church is in a battle with evil? Do we even know what evil looks like? And how do we overcome it?

In our pericope today, Paul admonishes the Roman church to overcome evil with good. We are going to look at what was going on in the Roman church, how Paul chose to address it, and in the process, we will also learn how to overcome evil in our world today.

Read Romans 12:9-21

The letter to the Romans was written by Paul, in large part, to address the division that was occurring between Gentile and Jewish believers in that diverse church. Those of Jewish ancestry were claiming the blessings passed down from Abraham, while the Gentile’s were boasting of being grafted into Christ as the new family of God. Neither were wrong, yet neither were acting graciously about it.

Up until the twelfth chapter of Romans, Paul had been busily demolishing the arguments that the church was dividing over. He starts off chapter 12 with a “therefore,” and goes on to describe how we should live with Christ in us. Beginning with verse nine, he starts giving his final instructions on how to remedy this “evil” that had infected the church.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. (Romans 12:9-13 NIV)

In this first section, we are told how to primarily deal with the evil in our inner circle. This includes those we are closest to, and those with whom we are already in fellowship. Someone once said that the only army that shoots its wounded is the Christian army. Unfortunately, there is much truth in that statement.

A world of weary Christian soldiers needs a place of peace, a place of safety, where they can lay down their weapons and join an army of other believers skilled in the spirit of peacemaking. If the church cannot be the place where there is support, encouragement, respect, and hospitality, then where else are we supposed to turn?

Churches need to be sanctuaries of healing, not places where we must hide our wounds. The charge we have been given in these scriptures is to root out evil by caring for one another. It’s not about how well we can pass one another’s theological test, but rather about the love we have in Christ, a love shared with each other.

In the Working Preacher Commentary, Israel Kamudzandu wrote the following:

The harmony of the Trinity is none other than the practice of love, because love is the essence of God. Love drives and builds a fellowship of believers. Love is the radiating orbit on which the cross of Jesus Christ is centered and calls on everyone to accept and share the same love.¹

The church, then, can be thought of as an incubator for the formation of love amongst believers, so that we might live a life of love and service to a much larger world. For it is in the church that we are surrounded and upheld by the undeserved and steadfast love of God, and where the community of Christ practices the love we receive and experience in the Trinity. Let’s continue:

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. (Romans12:14-16 NIV)

While these words can apply to relationships inside the body of Christ, they are meant to move us further into our communities. It is here where we will naturally encounter opposition to our faith. This might include those who might be very different from us as well as those who live in very different circumstances from us.

It is one thing to honor and care for those who care for us, to show love to those who are just like us. It is a whole new level to be able to love and serve those who may not care for us at all.

Remember, when Christ performed the self-emptying act of washing his disciples’ feet, he also washed the feet of his betrayer. Judas received the love and service of Christ just as much as the other disciples did.

Sometimes we confuse emotionality with love. The kind of love that we have been called to show to others does not depend on whether we feel like it or not. This love comes from the transformational power of the new life we have received in Christ. This love seeks the best in others, the forgiveness of others, as well as peace and reconciliation with others.

Loving someone is not appealing to a person’s likes and preferences, rather, it is displaying actions towards them in ways that will help move them to experience God’s goodness.

Let’s finish the passage:

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:17-21 NIV)

These verses bring us to the people who have done us the most harm. The ones that have brought us to the point where we want revenge or are tempted to want to see their destruction.

This is the place where we might want to justify our participation with evil, where we want to be granted the right to take matters into our own hands. But even here, you will notice that Paul ends this section with nearly the identical words that he started out saying in verse nine. Overcome evil with good.

The spirit that is in the world is one of dividing and conquering. We see nation against nation, political parties in violent confrontation, men against women, the old against the young, all the way to the breakdown of the family unit. We, the church, can be overcome by this evil when we allow ourselves to be drawn into the ways and the thinking of the world. But we cannot lose out on the opportunities to display God’s love even to those who might despise us. In verse 20, Paul gives us what many find a confusing statement.

If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on their heads. (Romans 12:20 NIV)

While theologians have differing opinions of an exact illustration of this phrase that Paul uses, it is clear it is referring to repaying hostility with kindness and forgiveness. This might lead to an enemy feeling shame. A modern-day metaphor might be your enemy having egg on his face.

We are to overcome evil with good in our churches, in our communities, and towards those who would do us harm. This might seem like a feat only for those who possess the strength and abilities of a superhero. Fortunately, for us, we have someone who provides far more than anything that could come out of DC or Marvel Comics.

We depend on the all-powerful love of God in Christ Jesus who is always with us. A love that conquers all and enables us to serve others. A love that has no kryptonite. A love from a God who truly overcomes evil with good.

For Reference:

1) www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/ordinary-22/commentary-on-romans-129-21

2) Kenneth Samuel Wuest: “Romans in the Greek New Testament” For the English Reader (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1961)

Small Group Discussion Questions

From Speaking of Life

What are some of the ways that we attempt being the masters of our own fates or captains of our souls?
What does it mean to take up your cross and follow Jesus?
What does daily discipleship in Jesus look like to you?

From the Sermon

How can our churches be “sanctuaries for healing”?
What are some practical ways of washing someone’s feet or heaping coals upon their heads?
Share a time when either you or someone you know was able to overcome evil with good?

Sermon for September 10, 2023 – Proper 18

Psalm 149:1-9 • Exodus 12:1-14 • Romans 13:8-14 • Matthew 18:15-20

As we continue with Ordinary Time, a season of focusing on how we can participate in the work Jesus is doing in the world, followers of Christ will inevitably come across those who have set themselves against the movement of God. It is important to understand that God is just and deals with wrongdoing. At the same time, Christians are still expected to love others, even those who behave badly. The theme for this week is loving others and trusting God to be just. In the Psalm passage, we read how God himself judged and opposed the nations that made themselves enemies of Israel. In Exodus, we see the institution of the Passover, which includes a judgment upon Egypt for enslaving the Israelites. At the same time, in the passage in Romans, Paul reminds us that we ought to love our neighbor. In Matthew, Jesus teaches his followers how to lovingly deal with someone who sins against us.

Blessedly Indebted

Romans 13:8-14

I fear that the mailbox has lost its purpose. There was time when the mailbox held cherished correspondence from loved ones and important, time-sensitive materials. Now, it seems like the purpose of the mailbox is to keep our recycling bins full. Each day, millions of Americans go to their mailbox, empty it with hope, only to disappointedly discard most of what is in it. It is a strange ritual, and I am sure anthropologists of the future will try to figure out why companies worked so hard to keep every recycle bin in America full. Given the number of credit card, personal loan, and refinancing offers I receive each week, perhaps the new purpose of the mailbox is to help me trade one kind of debt for another. If all the financial institutions sending me letters would instead mail me a check for the amount it costs to send me their offers, I could get out of debt and still have enough left over to live comfortably!

One of the reasons we get so many offers from financial institutions is because most of us have a mortgage, car payment, student loan, credit card, or some combination of all of these. Around 80% of people living in the USA carry some amount of debt. Despite the fact that financial debt is common, it can cause people to experience strong feelings of shame, anxiety, and hopelessness. We do not like being in debt, and many, either consciously or unconsciously, view it as some kind of personal failure.

What if I told you that there was a kind of debt that was good? Would you believe me if I said there is a kind of debt that the more of it a person carries, the more they are blessed? Many of you would reject the idea of a “good debt.” The term sounds like an oxymoron. However, as followers of Christ, there is a kind of debt that we should strive to owe. Paul speaks about this unique type of debt:

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. (Romans 13:8-10 NIV)

As believers, we owe our neighbors a debt of love. We are beholden to a law that obligates us to love others. Some of us may be shouting, “Hallelujah!” However, if you are like me, the words “command” and “law” give you pause. Aren’t we supposed to have freedom in Christ? Didn’t Jesus set us free from the Law as a means to become right with God? As I mentioned earlier, the indebtedness Paul is speaking about is something we should welcome. To understand what the apostle is saying, we need to dig a little deeper.

To many of us, the law is a set of rules, enforced by a governing authority, that are intended to create a just and ordered society. We may associate the law with control and see it as something that can potentially limit personal freedom. However, God’s law is not like that. To understand God’s law, we first need to realize that God’s original intent for humanity was (and is) to live with us in an eternal, loving relationship. When humanity sinned, we corrupted ourselves, our relationship with God, our relationship with other human beings, and our connection to creation. We no longer inherently recognize the ways of our loving creator. We do not naturally know how to live in relationship with God and others. We do not know how to live free without infringing upon the freedom of our neighbors.

Through the patriarchs and matriarchs of the Bible, as well as the nation of Israel, God reintroduced himself to humanity. He once again had to show humanity who he was and who we are. Through Moses, God gave Israel a set of laws that were instructions on how to navigate their relationship with God and with other people. The Law reminded Israel that God was their savior — the one who freed them from bondage in Egypt — and that they should respond to God with love, gratitude, and obedience. God’s law required obedience, not because God desired to control Israel, but because we had become ignorant of how God created us to live. Therefore, the Law was like “training wheels” for how to live in harmony with God and in community. It was meant to help human beings understand and navigate their relationships.

Jesus, in his earthly ministry, expanded humanity’s understanding of the purpose of God’s law. From him, we understand that the Law was never meant to be just a set of rules to follow. It was designed to guide our hearts toward loving God and neighbor. The Law was revealed as a reflection of who Jesus is. It served as a placeholder until Jesus could come and provide a more comprehensive revelation of God and humanity. By living and loving like Jesus, his followers fulfill the purpose and intent of the Law. Following the commands of Jesus actually brings freedom, because Jesus only acts for our good. God only commands humanity to do things that bring a fuller life. So, freedom isn’t about being able to do whatever we want; freedom is doing what the Creator says because only he knows what is best for us.

Through the lens of Christ, we can understand that owing our neighbor a debt of love simply means that they do not need to earn our care, just like human beings do not earn God’s grace. We receive forgiveness of sin and new life as a free gift. In response to Jesus, we do not look at others and decide whether or not to love them based on our self-centered criteria. Instead, we look at the grace we have received because of him. We proactively love others because our neighbor is made in the image of the God who saved us. No matter a person’s background, behavior, political affiliation, skin color, language spoken, IQ, or any other excuse for dehumanization, we owe our neighbor a debt of love.

Additionally, loving our neighbor is one of the primary ways we demonstrate our love for God. It is through human relationships where our response to God is put into action. Once we have a clear, accurate view of God, he is easy to love because he is perfect. Jesus is amazing! However, loving God includes loving others. We can proclaim our love of God and still be consciously or unconsciously filled with selfishness, biases, apathy, and contentiousness. Since human beings are not perfect – including each one of us – relating to each other can produce a love that endures, overlooks faults, and prefers others over oneself. This is how God loves. This is how he is able to extend grace to rebellious children like us. His love is big enough to embrace flawed creatures like you and me. So, the only way we can develop his type of love is through trying to follow Christ’s loving example in our own human relationships.

The debt of love we owe our neighbor not only benefits others, it is an important part of our own spiritual formation. As believers share the love of God with more and more people, they get many more opportunities to practice being like Jesus. By loving others, we become more like Christ. Not only that, but at the same time we are following Jesus in loving our neighbor, our neighbor is being led by Jesus to love us. We get to be shaped by experiencing the love of Christ as it flows through our fellow Christians. Of course, none of us loves perfectly. We all make mistakes in our relationships. However, God intended that the debt of love we owe our neighbors result in our growth, not in our depletion. Carrying this good debt is a blessing.

Since loving our neighbor positively benefits our relationship with God, our neighbors’ well-being, and our own spiritual formation, Paul challenges his audience to be about the business of following Christ in loving others without delay. The apostle goes on to say:

And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh. (Romans 13:11-14 NIV)

In Paul’s words we can see a sense of urgency. He conveyed to his audience what is also true for us: none of us knows what tomorrow brings. None of us knows when Christ will return or when our lives will come to an end. Therefore, we should do our best to make the most of every moment. Those who follow Jesus have been freed from death and darkness by a loving God. His love should compel us to lay aside the things that distract and dissipate us. His love should compel us to clothe ourselves “with the Lord Jesus Christ.” His love should compel us to get our primary focus off ourselves and look to be a blessing to God and our neighbors. Why should we delay? What sense does it make to follow our own way when God’s way is right, true, and good? God has nothing but our well-being in mind. God’s ways are beautiful and perfect.

How do we begin to live out of our blessed indebtedness to love our neighbor? To be sure, we can only do it by following Christ and the leading of the Holy Spirit. More specifically, here are a few ways to be blessedly indebted:

Be in prayer. We should regularly be in prayer for those God brings into our lives. Not only should we pray for their needs, but we should pray to discern how to best love them. We need God to teach us how to love.
Be a place-sharer. Place-sharing means empathetically relating to others so deeply that we share their “place.” We celebrate when they celebrate and mourn when they mourn. When our neighbor comes to harm, we comfort, encourage, and advocate for them. Place-sharing requires proximity. So, we need to do our best to be present in the life rhythms of our neighbors. Jesus was continually amongst the people, and we should walk in his ways.
Be a blessing. Through kindness, hospitality, humor, curiosity, generosity, and other virtues, we spread the aroma of Christ in our community. As we exhibit the qualities of Christ, people will be drawn to us, and we will have opportunities to place-share. Those who do not follow Christ may be prompted to ask questions about our behavior, opening the door for us to share the love of Christ with them.
Be a peacemaker. We must avoid the trap of only loving those who we perceive are like us. We should follow the leading of the Spirit to love our neighbors who differ from us culturally, economically, politically, and generationally. Also, we should do all we can to live at peace with our neighbors, including doing our best to forgive those who offend or hurt us.

The debt of love we owe our neighbors is a good debt. It is a debt that makes us rich. It is a debt that blesses others. It is a debt that makes us more like Christ. May Jesus shine through you as you live out of your blessed indebtedness.

Small Group Discussion Questions

From Speaking of Life

How do people typically deal with relational conflict? How does the typical ways people deal with relational conflict differ from the process Jesus describes?
Why do you think God cares about our human relationships?

From the sermon

What comes to mind when you hear the word debt?
In your own words, what does it mean to owe a neighbor a debt of love?

When you think about being in prayer for your neighbors, who are some people who come to mind? Are there ways to better live out your blessed indebtedness?

Sermon for September 17, 2023 – Proper 19

Psalm 114:1-8 • Exodus 14:19-31 • Romans 14:1-12 • Matthew 18:21-35

The theme for this week is the power of loving acceptance, and as we consider the RCL texts, we can see how both receiving and giving loving acceptance is one of the foundational components of a life of faith. Psalm 114 provides the response of gratitude to the story of the exodus from Egypt, as told in the next reading, Exodus 14. The story of Israel’s deliverance from the Egyptian army shows how belief in God stems from knowing God’s acceptance, care, and concern. The passage in Matthew reveals the connection between our ability to forgive and our trust and belief that we have been forgiven for our own shortcomings. Our sermon text comes from Romans 14, which explores the way acceptance can heal us of our need to compare and offer us the freedom in Christ we were meant to enjoy.

Loving Acceptance: An Answer to Life’s Paradoxes

Romans 14:1-12 (NRSVUE)

As a general rule, we human beings don’t like paradox. We like black and white with no shades of gray. Unfortunately, much of human life involves dealing with paradox, which two business researchers, Wendy K. Smith and Marianne W. Lewis, have written a book about, called Both/And Thinking: Embracing Creative Tensions to Solve Your Toughest Problems. In the book, Smith and Lewis define paradox as “the interdependent oppositions that lurk beneath dilemmas and persist over time.” They cite several examples of businesses that floundered or flourished based on the way paradox was handled in their organization. The insights they developed from studying businesses who succeeded and failed can also be applied to our personal lives and even our churches. Because human beings make up churches, understanding how to handle paradox can help us improve our ability to love others and God.

Our sermon text today features Paul talking about some of the quarreling that was happening at the church in Rome. Let’s read Romans 14:1-12.

Read sermon text.

We can see that Paul was trying to help the church in Rome realize they were “sweating the small stuff,” and as a result, it generated a critical and judgmental attitude within the church. A judgmental attitude does not love others as Jesus loves us (John 13:34). Instead, the church at Rome was arguing about what was being eaten and what days were being observed (v. 1-6), and Paul was inviting them to look past their divisive, either/or thinking to the larger picture of being true to our individual consciences as led by the Holy Spirit. By understanding how to handle paradox and our tendency toward either/or thinking when it comes to problem-solving, we can improve our relationships with one another and create a loving environment in our church home.

First, let’s understand why either/or thinking doesn’t work.

Either/or thinking doesn’t help us solve problems. In fact, it can create downward spirals of intensification and polarization. Intensification, as defined by Smith and Lewis, means focusing solely on one side of an issue, to the point that we get “stuck,” unable to change and unwilling to hear another point of view. Hearing does not imply agreeing, it shows honor and respect for another that you are interested in them as a person, and you are desiring to hear a different point of view. Polarization happens when groups pick sides, ultimately dehumanizing the other side. Intensification and polarization keep us from reaching out to understand those who think differently than we do.

Some in the church in Rome were committed vegetarians, and others were despising them for their personal conviction (v. 1-4). We need to consider how we may have fostered judgmental attitudes within our churches over issues that involve personal conviction and personal liberty.

We also should think about how we have engaged in either/or thinking when it comes to other denominations or religions. Author Brian McClaren makes an important point in his book Faith After Doubt:

Jesus never said, when asked what is the greatest commandment: ‘You shall hold correct beliefs about the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall convert your neighbors who do not hold correct beliefs, and if they will not convert, you shall defeat them in a culture war.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. Instead, he said something truly revolutionary: first, he said to love God with our whole being. Second, and equally important (which is the meaning of ‘the second is like it’), he said to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:36–40). (124).

Rather than persuading others to our own point of view, we’re encouraged to think how we can respond in the most loving way toward those who differ from us.

Part of this loving response requires us to approach differences inside and outside the church by embracing paradoxical differences that are part of our human existence. But how?

We need to learn how to ask better questions. Often when we’re faced with a problem or disagreement, we frame the question in an either/or fashion. In Smith and Lewis’s research, they found that students were able to come up with more creative widgets when they were instructed to make them both “novel and useful,” rather than the student group that was told to focus only on one aspect, either novel or useful, but not both. Rather than rushing to defend or persuade, we serve others better when we embrace curiosity and assume that others have good reasons, maybe even personal convictions, regarding their choices. Saying, “Tell me more about that,” is a good start, and learning the skill of reflective listening can help us understand the real issue behind the problem.

For example, Smith and Lewis share a story about working on their book draft in a library study room. They weren’t the only ones in the study room; there was another woman there, too. She wanted the window open, but Smith and Lewis didn’t. This looked like an either/or dilemma. To solve the problem, however, Smith and Lewis asked more questions. Why did the woman want the window open? As it turned out, the woman wanted the window open for ventilation, whereas the reason Smith and Lewis didn’t want the window open was because their papers would blow around. By understanding the reasoning behind a particular stance, they were able to come up with another solution that met the needs of everyone: leaving the study room door open offered enough ventilation for the other woman, and their papers wouldn’t blow around.

Lastly, we must understand why God thinks judgmental attitudes need to be addressed rather than personal practices or choices.

We are responsible for our own choices and the ways we express our personal convictions and worship of God.

Who are you to pass judgment on slaves of another? It is before their own lord that they stand or fall. And they will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make them stand…Let all be fully convinced in their own minds. Those who observe the day, observe it for the Lord. Also those who eat, eat for the Lord…(Romans 14:4, 6, NRSVUE).

God understands our unique wiring and looks at the heart’s intent.

We belong to God, and our actions are held within the sacrifice of Christ.

For we do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves. If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. For to this end Christ died and lived again, so that he might be Lord of both the dead and the living. (Romans 14:7-9, NRSVUE)

Rector and Dean of the Lutheran Theological Southern Seminary Mary Hinkle Shore writes:

Christ died and rose in order to create community across the most fundamental of differences: Jew/Greek, slave/free, dead/living! The acknowledgement that Jesus is Lord implies a critique of all other powers, even the power of our most thoughtful, considered judgment on how to honor our Lord.

Our unity within the church is not based on personal practices, but rather, on our inclusion in the Triune God relationship.

Loving acceptance is the answer to the paradoxes we face in human life and relationships, and our response is gratitude and praise to God.

As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall give praise to God. (Romans 14:11, NRSVUE)

Acknowledging the freedom in Christ we have helps us offer others the same freedom and grace to express their love for the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We can trust in God’s goodness and grace, knowing that the Holy Spirit is leading each person into greater intimacy with God.

Paul demonstrates in Romans 14:1-12 that judgmental attitudes toward others’ different choices won’t promote the vision God has for humanity. Loving God and others begins when we work to build loving acceptance of people within our relationships and our church.

Call to Action: When faced with a conflict at home or work, instead of responding with a black or white answer, consider first asking God to help you see the person as he sees them – as someone created in his image. Then start by asking the question, “Tell me more,” or, “Help me to understand.” As the person explains, listen quietly, asking God for wisdom, and then practice reflective listening to see if you’ve understood them. If needed, take time to think of a loving response that can address the issue so that all involved feel heard and loved.

This is part of the new commandment, to love others as Jesus loves them.

For Reference:

McClaren, Brian. Faith After Doubt. St. Martin’s Essentials, 2021.
Smith, Wendy K., and Marianne W. Lewis. Both/And Thinking: Embracing Creative Tensions to Solve Your Toughest Problems. Harvard Business Review Press, 2022.
https://nextbigideaclub.com/magazine/thinking-embracing-creative-tensions-solve-toughest-problems-bookbite/36575/
https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/reflective-listening
https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/ordinary-24/commentary-on-romans-141-12-2
https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/ordinary-24/commentary-on-romans-141-12-5

Small Group Discussion Questions

From Speaking of Life

We can speculate that the first slave in the parable didn’t believe that the king would really forgive his large debt because it was too good to be true. Let’s rewrite the parable, this time assuming that he did believe that his debt was forgiven. How then do you imagine he would interact with those who owed him money?
The video suggests that one possible reason for the slave’s disbelief was his fear that the king’s forgiveness of his debt was too good to be true, and he knew he didn’t deserve it. Have you ever had a wonderful experience, but in the back of your mind, you felt like you didn’t deserve it? Why do you think we struggle to accept God’s grace?

From the sermon

Why do you think we believe, consciously or unconsciously, that everyone should think and act like we do? What are the dangers of this type of thinking?
How does staying curious, asking questions, and practicing reflective listening help us foster loving acceptance for those who differ from us? Have you ever employed any of these techniques in your life, and if so, what was the outcome?

Sermon for September 24, 2023 – Proper 20

Psalm 105:1-6, 37-45 • Exodus 16:2-15 • Philippians 1:21-30 • Matthew 20:1-16

As we continue in Ordinary Time, a time of focusing on how we can participate in the work Jesus is doing in the world, it is important for believers to acknowledge that we can do nothing apart from Christ himself. This week’s theme is Jesus is life. The psalmist reminds us to be grateful to God by recounting the ways in which he kept Israel alive in the desert. Similarly, the Exodus passage tells the story of how God gave miraculous manna and quails to the Israelites for food. In Philippians, Paul expressed his preference to give up his life if it meant being completely with Christ. Finally, in Matthew, Jesus told a parable to illustrate how believers should gratefully receive the salvation we have in Christ.

Jesus is Life

Philippians 1:21-30

When college professor, Morrie Schwartz, was terminally diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS or Lou Gehrig’s disease), he decided that he would not fade away quietly. Rather, he decided to use his experience of dying to ponder the meaning of life. Upon hearing of Schwartz’ diagnosis, former student and author and journalist, Mitch Albom, rushed to see his favorite professor. What started as a one-time visit turned into a weekly conversation until Schwartz’ passing in 1995. The fruit of those discussions became a best-selling book titled, Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life’s Greatest Lesson. In the book, Albom recalls a conversation he had with Schwartz:

“The truth is, Mitch,” he said, “once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”

I nodded.

“I’m going to say it again,” he said. “Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.” He smiled, and I realized what he was doing. He was making sure I absorbed this point, without embarrassing me by asking. It was part of what made him a good teacher.

Did you think much about death before you got sick? I asked.

“No.” Morrie smiled…

But everyone knows someone who has died,” I said. “Why is it so hard to think about dying?

“Because,” Morrie continued, “most of us all walk around as if we’re sleepwalking. We really don’t experience the world fully, because we’re half-asleep, doing things we automatically think we have to do.”

And facing death changes all that?

“Oh, yes. You strip away all the stuff and you focus on the essentials. When you realize you are going to die, you see everything much differently.”

He sighed. “Learn how to die, and you learn how to live.”^[1]

These are wise words. Death is an uncomfortable topic for most of us. None of us enjoys contemplating our own mortality. Conversations about death can painfully remind us of loved ones we have lost. However, facing the reality that we are finite can give us perspective. Knowing that we are going to die can give us insight on how we should be living.

Paul seemed to have this in mind when he wrote this section of his letter to the church in Philippi:

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me. Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved — and that by God. For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have. (Philippians 1:21-30 NIV)

Paul was not suicidal. Perhaps he was a bit world weary, but another emotion drove his words. More than anything else he was in awe of the love of Christ and loved Jesus in return. He desired deeper and deeper communion with Christ and realized he was limited in his relationship with Jesus in this life. He was hindered by his own natural orientation away from God and longed for the day when he would be freed from his sinful human nature. Paul reasoned that if dying meant complete and unhindered oneness with Jesus, then it would be better to die.

It was as Paul contemplated which he preferred, living or dying, that he urged the believers in Philippi to “conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.” In other words, Paul was saying, “Since we are alive, we should live for Christ to the fullest extent.” To the apostle, “life” and “Christ” were synonyms and to follow Christ was to truly live (Colossians 3:4). I believe Paul would have agreed with Morrie Schwartz’ observation that most people do not fully experience life. To Paul, if Christ was not the reason behind one’s thoughts and actions, then a person would experience something inferior to true life. Even Christians, if we are not careful, can find ourselves living a kind of half-life. So, Paul was allowing the reality of death to teach him how to live, and he passed on this wisdom to the Philippian church and to us.

Before you get concerned, I am not encouraging some kind of morbid fascination with death. On the contrary, I am advocating for us to do a lot more thinking about how we live. Think for a moment. If you were told a coworker was going to enter into a personal relationship with Jesus in two years, how would you start treating that coworker? Contrast that to being told you only had one full day left to live. How would you spend the day? With family and friends? Doing something you love doing, or always wanted to do. I am sure many of us would spend some time talking to God, thanking him for the gift of life. Whatever things warranted our attention on our most precious day should be what gets the priority every day. The most important things should get our attention and we should not give our focus to things that will fade away.

Morrie Schwartz said, “Learn how to die, and you learn how to live.” When Paul thought about his death all he saw was Jesus. He reasoned by the Spirit that if Jesus was his eternity, then Jesus should also be his focus in this life. In fact, Jesus is life. Paul argued that the persecution the Philippians suffered should not prevent them from orienting their lives around Christ. It would have been understandable for the believers in Philippi to try to fade into the crowd. Their belief in Christ brought them a lot of trouble, so why not just worship Jesus secretly? Why not just go along with everyone else? The temptation must have been so strong to hide their relationship with Jesus or maybe even try to forget about it altogether. This is why Paul encouraged his audience to “stand firm in the one Spirit.” One way or another, persecution will come to an end. But Jesus is life, and he is forever.

Unlike the believers in Philippi, most of us are not facing persecution. Let’s never forget that many of our brothers and sisters around the world are facing persecution. Our Western culture disrupts our relationship with God in other ways. We live in a fast-moving, distraction-filled society. I can have almost anything delivered to my home within two days. Nearly all accumulated human knowledge is literally at my fingertips. All I need is a computer hooked up to the internet and I can know almost anything instantly. I have thousands of TV shows and movies I can watch, or I can listen to a podcast on any topic of my choosing. In our culture, it almost seems shameful to not be overwhelmingly busy and over-informed.

This way of being is at odds with the ways of God. The Lord invites his followers to slow down and appreciate the small miracles that fill every day. We are encouraged to sit and ponder the things that Jesus said and did, giving preference to his wisdom over earthly knowledge. Jesus expects his followers to prioritize people over productivity and make time every day for relationships. Jesus is life and following him will cause us to live differently.

I have to admit that there was a time in my life when I feared living differently. I did not want to stand out. When I read this passage in Philippians, it felt extreme. I did not want to suffer for Christ. I knew that Christ was my life, but I was content to live a half-life. I only wanted to resemble Jesus when I was around other Christians. In time, I realized that I was seeing things in the wrong way. In his letter to the Philippians, Paul teaches that “standing firm” is not something we do individually. We do not “conduct [our]selves in a manner worthy of the gospel” by ourselves. It is the life of the Christian faith community, not any individual Christian, that testifies to our worthiness. Of course, our individual conduct matters. However, it is by living in a loving Christ-centered community that we best experience life in Jesus.

Jesus is life, and the life he brings is enjoyable. Following Christ does not mean that we will not have hard times. In fact, Jesus promises that we will face life challenges. However, Jesus is enjoyable. We follow Christ by eating in each other’s homes and helping those in need. We follow Christ by using the gifts and talents given to us by the Spirit to make our world better. We follow Christ by singing praises and worshiping God with our very lives. We follow Christ by loving our family and friends and being a good neighbor. We follow Christ by meditating on his life-giving word in times of restful and refreshing silence. We follow Christ by making new friends and sharing the love of God with them. We follow Christ in so many ways; all of them give us things we deeply want and need. Things like love, joy, peace, and all the other fruits of the Spirit. This is the life that Paul saw, and he invited his Christian audience to embrace it. The apostle was not being morbid in his contemplation of death. Rather, he was calling his audience’s attention to the most important things — the riches that can only be found in Jesus.

Learn how to die, and you learn how to live. When compared to what our society considers life, our life in Christ is far superior. We lose nothing by following his way. Rather, we gain our true purpose and identity in him. So, let us do all we can to live for Christ. Let us set aside the things that distract and dissipate to make more room for Jesus to live in and through us. Making room for Christ is not something we only do by ourselves. Rather, we make room for God by doing the enjoyable, life-giving, and meaningful practices God asks us to do in a loving community of faith. Jesus is life, and it is a life worth living.

^[1] Albom, Mitch. Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life’s Greatest Lesson. New York, NY: Doubleday, 1997. (pp 82-83)

Small Group Discussion Questions

From Speaking of Life

Why do you think we often compare ourselves to others, even in the church?
Why do you think it is so tempting to try to earn salvation?

From the sermon

If you only had one more day to live, what are some things you would do?
Do you find your life with Christ enjoyable? Why or why not?
What are some things you can do to make more room for God in your life?